Just a Sleepy Head

I sit here, and what? The whispers of my thoughts from a year ago still ringing in my ear like a series of gunshots left behind the morning after firing some rounds off. I feel as though I have nothing, limited, move my arms but there's not much room to move around in. I've lain down in every way that I think I possibly can. I guess I just have to think of some new positions or break down the walls around my so that I can go into these forms that I can only dream of being in. I dunno. The walls have your name written on it; I don't think that I can really get away from it at this point but it's not bad, it's not like it's something that rooted deep inside of me, and that's what makes me most glad I think. That is, that when I think about you, it's not some sort of sick, obsession of future idea, but simply your nature, your being that moves through space and time with a smile or a frown, but always sucking up everything around you and knowing. You know. That's what it is, I assumed.

You're like a lotus in my mind, floating on the pond of my mind right next to the lilies of my joys and the weeds of my sins.

Luckily it never stops. I went from something limp to something that went frigid in water, sputtering forward like a snake in a spring, some jack-in-the-box like toy for a child. I didn't know where I was anymore, I never did, I never know anything! All I can see is the silly little turns and twists of relationships becoming tatters of cloth that tear more and more in the wind of our lives; I hope that it'll end soon. I'm tired of seeing nothing but the sand and dust that comes up from all of our storms put together. I think that's why I like you the most, you haven't ever made any of that dust that I see near the horizon, smog over the city. When I'm in your world the sky is blue all the way down.

I yawned. I had been listening to too much music that went over and over again, "We cry aloooooooonnnnnneeee, we cry alone, we cry alone, we cry alone," But it's also only Noise, after all. I laughed, lay back in my bed and put my head on the pillow with my eyes closed. I knew that the visions before sleep would be coming soon. My logic would slip away into absurdity, and I'd catch it a few times and laugh at the impracticality of my mind, but eventually I would stop noticing that it wasn't real. In fact, it would be real. My mind would once again become my world. I yawned again hoping I'd have a dream with you in it. With everyone in it.

It never ends.